There are some things..

I have to get a few things off my chest here, its been bugging me for so long how people make fun of me for having a crack addicted mother, and her being a whore, and what not. SO..for the record...this is how it started...

My parents got divorced in 1996 (i think not sure) and i don't know the whole reason behind it but they just weren't getting along any more. I don't know if my mom was doing drugs before then or not. But shortly after she met a few people, she was then introduced to "drugs". All my life i've told people stories of whats happened to me during the times i lived with her, but i never told anyone online because i thought why whould they care? BUT i need to get these things off my chest. So theres been a bunch of times where i would wake up in the morning to go to school...I'd always wake up around 9:30, school started at 8:30...I never had a mom to wake me up in the morning to get to school, i was always had to wake me and my brother up to get ready, and every time i would go and wake up my mom, she would just go back to sleep. I made breakfeast for myself and my brother. I was always getting pulled out of school because of my attendence, (i don't recall ever being in the 3rd grade...) My mom was in a hit and run situation, she was never found guilty about it, I wasn't even told about this until about 4 years ago. My mom had a boyfriend named Phil. Phil seemed like a nice guy, i didn't know they were doing drugs until my dad sat me down and told me what was going on once he got custody. I was soon introduced to Phils brother, dont remeber his name at all, they would always take us to this "Doctors" house, but really he was a heroin supplier, we ate at his house a lot and my mom and phil would always go shoot up afterwords, ON school nights i was sometimes never gotten home till about 12:00 a.m., and was always told if i did anything bad i was going to be stabbed by a needle, they even showed it to me. So other than being threatend, life was good, i had a lot of pets i mean A LOT! Snakes, lizards, birds, dogs, cats, you name it list goes on. But then time came, i had to go live with my grandparents till whoever got custody (which of was my dad). During court days id see my mom, she told me she went...court records prove she only showed up to 1 court date...(i dont know how many they had) I was shocked...my own mother didnt even fight for me and my brother!? The people she considered her "sons"!? The two people she said she would die for?! But before the court date, there were always times where people i didn't even know who would show up and take me and my brothers things from us, wheter it be toys, t.v., BEDS, or pencils to do homework with. My mom sold MY BED that i spelt on for years for durgs...How could she? why?... Then there was this time when i felt under my couch and i pulled out a m-16 assault rifle...I asked my mom what it was, but she didn't tell me, A few days later, that guy killed a man, in my OWN room....blood stains all over the carpet, they buried the body late at night in the backyard...I never selpt in my room again..it was haunted to me.. There was always ttimes when my mom would tell me I was the fault of all that happened to her, times where i would ask for something to eat and she would say i didnt deserve it, i never quite understood why...But i took it hard...really hard, i never did go to school in new york again after the 3rd grade...Court ruled that i could only see my dad on weekends so i was forced to live with my mom. There were times when she wouldn't come home, and phil did..(they left together...) my mom would come in 3 hours later, then they would argue, he would threaten to kill me my brother and her if she didn't stop yelling..(he even pointed the gun at us...) My neighbors even told me she was working at the local bar as a stripper...i dont know if she was or not. Times when i thought hell was safer than living with my mom.. Once my dad got custody with us, it was like heaven...I was fed more, i had everything, the thing is..he worked...a lot!! I only saw him a lot during the weekends and dinner...I've sat through a lot of consuling, mom always telling me everythings my fault! I went through about 5 different counsulers, and none could help me

We moved to ohio...life has been...somewhat better
Met so many friends, i had maybe 1 friend in new york?



And now my mom wants to visit us more, (she only lives 3 hours away from us)

I thought Ok ...its nice to see people again
but then i realized what hell ive been through with her...
and then...
she adopts
a orfan.........


And im supposed to aceppt him as my step-brother?
how is she going to treat this kid? better than me...live the better life that i couldnt? ...

i dont talk to my mom much...hardly ever, she calls about once evey month or so...some times longer, ive seen her for the first time in about 8 years a few years ago...i saw the impact of drugs had on her...she would comb her hair and hair was falling out....

Well i've just had to get a few things off my chest, my dads always telling me to...hes a good man he really is, works his ass off

i dont need any sympathy from anyone, i just want people to know what hell i went through and they think there lifes bad, and for all the people who make fun of me for not having a mom, or becuase shes a drug addict...